Midlife Reinvention Thought Leader: Yvonne Marchese
Roller skates… in our 50s!
It all started when I was in my early fifties. I was taking a class to learn how to write a speech about overcoming the myths and stereotypes about getting older. The instructor asked us to make a drawing of what we pictured it would feel like to tell our story.
Back On My Roller Skates At 56:
I have very limited drawing skills so I was initially resistant to the exercise. What ended up on the page was a stick figure version of me with a heart coming out of my mouth, my chest and my hands on ROLLER SKATES! (See the image attached)
I was surprised and delighted by my childish drawing. That silly, little, childish drawing actually expressed exactly how I wanted to feel when I went on stage with that talk. I wanted to speak joyfully from the heart.
That silly, little, childish drawing expressed how I wanted to feel about my life… every day!
We Give Up Playing As Time Goes By:
I started to think about how much I loved roller skating when I was a kid. I spent my tween years happily skating down the sidewalk every day, and whenever I had the chance to go to the roller rink, I was there! I loved speed skating. I loved skating backwards. When I was on skates, I felt like I was flying!
I began to wish I hadn’t stopped roller skating. I don’t know exactly when or why I stopped, but I can guess that it was because skating had become decidedly uncool, and I just wanted to fit in with the other kids as I entered my teenage years.
I think this is a common occurrence. We give up parts of ourselves to fit in while we are growing up. As we take on responsibilities and strive for achievements, we give up playing. We are eager to grow up. We think being an adult is going to bring us all kinds of freedom. It’s a natural progression, but I think we give up too much when we make the decision to blend in with the crowd, try to please our parents and teachers, and impress our peers with some sort of undefinable cool factor.
“As we take on responsibilities and strive for achievements, we give up playing. We are eager to grow up.”
The Daydreams:
I started to picture myself skating again, and I started to get really excited about it, but I was hesitant. Skating is risky behavior for a woman my age. Whenever I’d confess my desire to a friend I’d hear things like “You’ll break a hip!” I couldn’t seem to stop the daydreams, though.
I started shopping around: wondering if I could find skates that fit properly and came with arch support? These are things a fifty-something woman with bunions has to think about!
The talk I wrote in that class morphed into a book titled “In Full Bloom: A Guide to Aging Playfully”. When I published the book I decided to buy myself a gift to celebrate. When I thought about what I truly wanted it was clear. I wanted something playful… I wanted roller skates! I found skates that looked promising and I pressed the buy button!
When they came in the mail I was giddy with delight and anticipation. I immediately put them on and stood up. I was shocked at how wobbly and scared I felt simply standing up. This wasn’t at all what I had expected. I thought I’d get on those skates and fly around on them like I used to.
It took me months to get past the wobbles when I put those skates on. I took it slow, and skated for only 10-15 minutes at a time.
More Confidence To Keep Going:
Yes, I felt fear, but I also felt exhilarated. After a while, the fear quieted and my muscle memory began to kick in. I became steadier on my skates. My balance improved, and I began to trust myself. Yes, I fell, but the pads kept me from getting hurt. That gave me more confidence to keep going.
“Yes, I felt fear, but I also felt exhilarated. After a while, the fear quieted and my muscle memory began to kick in.”
I’ll confess that I took a big spill on my skates this spring. While my pads saved me from a broken bone, I did wrench my shoulder in the fall. I spent the summer doing physical therapy to heal my shoulder, but I didn’t stop skating. It was bringing me too much joy to stop.
I spent the summer skating more slowly, with care not to fall, and I started drill moves that would help me learn to roller dance. Those drills have improved my core strength and my balance which makes me safer on my skates. I contend that this will keep me steadier on my feet as I age even when I’m not on skates.
But the health benefits of skating are not my main reason for skating. It’s the fun of it that keeps me coming back for more. So my question to you is… what makes you feel playful, energized and happy? Give yourself permission to do more of that!
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About the Author:
Yvonne Marchese is the host of the Late Bloomer Living Podcast, a professional photographer, mother and wife. At the age of 48, she realized that she’d bought into a story about getting old that was adversely affecting her health and relationships.Changing her story about aging inspired her to start the Late Bloomer Living Podcast where she is on a mission to redefine society’s ideas on aging and exploring how to live a life by design. Yvonne believes that midlife is filled with possibility, that it’s never too late to pursue a dream and that the stories we tell ourselves have tremendous power. Who knew that midlife could be so much fun? Follow Yvonne on IG –@latebloomerliving
