Midlife Matters: Diane Amelia Read
Self-talk matters and we really need to stop calling ourselves names.
You’re driving along, lost in thought. You miss a turn you’ve made a thousand times … Eye roll. “Ugh. I’m so stupid.”
But are you? Are you “stupid?” Are you someone who stupidly blew past a turn, or are you “preoccupied,” “distracted,” or “not present” and simply made a mistake?
Notice Your Self-Talk, Without Judgment:
Our language choices are often the product of habit, but the words we choose can shape our beliefs and, ultimately, our reality.
This is important to know at every age, but the stakes can spike at midlife. In this stage of life, many of us are stepping into new roles, navigating changes and challenges, and also facing opportunities we might not have expected. The voice inside can either lift us up or hold us back.
“This is important to know at every age, but the stakes can spike at midlife.”
Awareness is key. Start by simply noticing. Without judgment. How do you talk to yourself when things don’t go as planned? Maybe you think, I keep making the same stupid mistake. What if instead, you asked yourself with curiosity, What was I feeling that sent me down this path? Shifting from judgment to curiosity is a simple adjustment, but it has the power to re-route your mindset. And your mood. And your outcomes.
Does this sound familiar? You step on the scale and don’t like what you see. I’m disgusting can morph into I love my body and I’m doing the best I can right now. These small shifts feel gentler, more compassionate, and they create space for growth. I apply this approach in my own life, and it’s a game-changer. People often say I seem naturally happy, and while that’s partly true, it’s also because I work hard on my vibe—every day—by being intentional with my words.
Cherrypick Your Self-Talk: Your Body is Listening:
No voice is more impactful in your life than your own. Full stop. Every cell in your body is listening to what you say, internally and externally, 24/7. So, how can we speak to ourselves in a way that supports growth, instead of anchoring us to an identity that no longer serves us?
Let’s take the statement “I’m too old for this.” Flip it to “I’m experienced.” I suck at this becomes I have a lot to learn here. Words matter. The way we talk about ourselves matters. Each time we speak, we’re either reinforcing limitations or inviting new possibilities.
For example, I once questioned how I could lead a wellness group with the upper body strength of a willow branch. Instead of getting stuck in that thought, I tried, Let’s see what IS possible. I began doing pushups against the wall. Slowly, I moved to the kitchen counter, then to the floor. First knees, then toes. It took years. It doesn’t matter. I got there because I changed the narrative.
Transform Problem-Stating Into Problem-Solving:
We can take this language shift a step further by transforming problem-stating into problem-solving. Take, I always give in to my sweet tooth. Switch it to I enjoy sweets! They’re the BEST now and then! You’re still honoring your love for sugary delights, but you’ve removed the identity language.
“We can take this language shift a step further by transforming problem-stating into problem-solving.”
Changing ownership language to statements of circumstance is another approach. Instead of saying I have anxiety, try I’ve experienced anxiety. This small change acknowledges your lived experience but doesn’t let it define you.
I don’t have the education for that job can become My gut tells me to give this a shot.
I hate taking risks, is now I’m learning to push past my comfort zone.
I’m too old to change … I can try.
By noticing and reframing statements, we open the door to possibility, growth, and self-compassion.
Be Kind With Your Language:
Being intentional with your words isn’t just about sounding positive—it’s about being kind and realistic. The way you speak to yourself matters. It’s a practice that will support you through this incredible chapter of life. Whether it’s in your career, relationships, physical health, or all of the above, language can become a lifeline for staying confident and resilient.
The next time you catch yourself using limiting or harsh language, try a little flip. Just notice, without judgment, and see where a kinder choice of words might take you.
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About the Author:
Diane Amelia Read is an experienced growth partner, health and mindset advisor, stereotype disrupter, and surfer wannabe. She’s a Reiki Master Teacher, podcaster, StreetWise MBA graduate, and samba singer, Law of Attraction mentor, and motivational speaker.
Her mission is to make the world a more loving and interconnected place by helping women love themselves first so they can bring their most joy-filled awesomeness to everyone and everything else without depleting themselves
As a Mind & Body Alchemist For Women Over 50, Diane Amelia’s unique personal transformation toolbox is chock full of options for midlife women ready for sustainable improvement in their health, confidence, mindset, income, community, or all of the above.
