Positive Aging Thought Leader: Maria Leonard Olsen
I got sober at age 50. I did it with the help of a 12 Steps program. My life changed forever.
I was raised Roman Catholic and believed that I had lived by a fairly good code of ethics. Most people know the 10 Commandments and many try to live according to their tenets. All organized religions attempt to provide guidance about helping others, being kind, and striving to do good.
The 12 Steps To Help Me Get Back Up:
But I fell. I self-anaesthetized to escape my problems and pain. And my sobriety sisters, using the 12 Steps, helped me get back up and eventually live a life beyond my wildest dreams.
The 12 Steps basically ask those who wish to follow them to: believe in something bigger than themselves; make amends when you have hurt someone; work to eliminate one’s character defects; and pay the gift of healing forward to others. These are the lessons encapsulated in the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), as well as the other 12 Step programs helping millions of people like me stop addictive behavior that ruins lives.
“In past generations, there was great stigma associated with alcoholism and drug addiction.”
In past generations, there was great stigma associated with alcoholism and drug addiction. As it became increasingly difficult to deny that alcoholism and addiction was rampant, and sometimes had a genetic component, finding help became easier. While the program initially attracted mostly men, it is estimated that today overall the meetings reflect the attendance of approximately 38% women.
12 Step Programs:
The pandemic’s restrictions on in-person gatherings led to more online meetings. Online meetings remain accessible 24 hours a day, seven days a week, all over the world.
Twelve step programs are not solely for alcoholics. Al Anon was started as a program for those in relationship with alcoholics and drug addicts. It has expanded to encompass those in dysfunctional relationships. All of us have at least one of those.
Al Anon was like grad school for this alcoholic. AA helped me to stop drinking alcohol. Al Anon helped me learn how to maintain appropriate boundaries and cultivate more healthy relationships with others. Its slightly different focus helped improve almost every relationship in my life, including with my family of origin and adult children.
There are 12 Step programs for those with debt problems, overeating, relationship addictions and more. Each of these programs teaches the same things and subscribes to the same tenet: You need not suffer alone. The group can help you recover, if you want recovery.
Perspectives And Guidance:
Each of the 12 Step programs has literature aimed at providing additional perspectives and guidance for working the 12 Steps. While the “Big Book” of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous’ main book outlining the program and containing stories of those who recovered in AA) contains some paternalistic language (anachronistic language from its authorship more than half a century ago has not been changed), the messages are vital to recovery.
I still marvel at how the Big Book’s words hold true for my life and the lives of countless others. I can relate to everything in the Big Book. Sometimes the details differ, but the feelings are the same.
The program is spiritual but not religious. The authors knew better than to require a belief in God as a key to recovery. One need only have a belief in something bigger than themselves, a “God” of one’s own understanding. For many, that something bigger is the group of AA members on which we are invited to depend for support.
” The authors knew better than to require a belief in God as a key to recovery.”
Because we are human, and each meeting is somewhat affected by the people in each meeting, it is widely recommended that people try several meetings before deciding whether the 12 Step program or a particular meeting might work for you.
AI Anon:
The participants are asked to remain anonymous, using only first names, and to protect the anonymity of everyone they see at meetings. Sponsorship by someone with more recovery time than you is recommended. A sponsor can take you through the steps and share their experience, strength and hope.
I have been in AA for 12 years and Al Anon for eight years now and I plan to attend meetings and work the Steps for the rest of my life. Working the Steps makes me a better person. I am continually taking ownership of my mistakes, living my amends and paying it forward.
I believe the 12 Steps should be taught in schools everywhere. They encourage people to be introspective, to meditate on their lives and improve themselves. They inspire empathy, compassion, and fellowship.
The program is simple but not easy. Every 12 Step meeting is open to anyone who has a desire to stop their addiction. And you never have to do it alone.
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About the Author:
Maria Leonard Olsen is an attorney, author, radio show and podcast host in the Washington, D.C., area. For more information about her work, see www.MariaLeonardOlsen.com and follow her on social media at @fiftyafter50. Her latest book, 50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life, which has served as a vehicle for helping thousands of women reinvigorate their lives, is offered for sale on this website.
