Just this last week a dear friend of mine sent a last minute text to a small group of her girlfriends. The title: “Hoookie Ski”. Now, it’s probably best to admit right away; I don’t ski. And, I don’t enjoy the cold. That last statement was extremely understated.
The other caveat; there were only two ‘actual’ names on my text thread, the other four were merely identified by telephone numbers. A few with area codes dissimilar to mine.
Yes!
“there was also talk of relationships, motherhood, the lack of desire for motherhood, careers, health, illness, and everything in between”
I responded back with a “Heck, yes” anyway. For me; even a less than ideal location combined with activities I don’t enjoy is STILL an amazing opportunity to recharge and rekindle my inner girl. Morning coffee talk bookmarked by evening wine, dinner prep, fireside chitchat makes for a centering, fulfilling experience. I am not sure if my circle of friends are typical or, if by definition, we’ve all selected one another because we crave and feed our sisterhood connections.
Even though three of the six women on the get-away were mere ten digits across my iPhone screen last week; today they all have names. And, it’s not just names… I know things; real things about these women. Yes, there was plenty of ‘shop’ talk amongst them related to skiing (which gave me moments to allow myself to daydream) but there was also talk of relationships, motherhood, the lack of desire for motherhood, careers, health, illness, and everything in between. That’s the case with women to women interactions. We don’t stay on the surface for very long. For that I am grateful.
Why Are Get-Aways With Girlfriends So Important?
“Research shows that women, [possibly] more than men, need to maintain those connections. It increases serotonin and oxytocin, the bonding hormone,” says Alisa Ruby Bash, PsyD, LMFT. Studies at Stanford seem to confirm this, as did a UCLA study showing that in times of stress, women don’t just experience the drive toward fight or flight — they also release oxytocin. This hormonal surge can compel women to “tend and befriend,” a.k.a., to protect their kids (if they have them), but also to connect with other women.” – HealthLine
Even without the help of science, we understand the significance of time with our female friends. Personally, I live with two men – no feminine energy in the whole house. If you’re in this scenario you’re going to get what I am about to share.
Five Things We Get To Do With Our Girlfriends That We DON’T Typically Get To Do With Our Men:
1. Giggling
Our daily lives are filled with the hustle of careers, families, to do lists, chores and errands. That doesn’t leave a lot of room for being silly and giggling. When we escape with our BFFS we have the opportunity for judgement free, ‘no-grown-up-here’, behavior. Whether it is racing grocery carts down the aisle, or showing up with ridiculous items for purchase at Costco, or dancing on table tops belly laughs with your buddies can brighten up our face better than Botox.
2. Girl Talk
“”Two days of girl talk can leave us feeling clear and light”
We women talk to one another in a way that’s so different than how we communicate with men. Rapid firing of complaints, venting, discussing issues that really we women can truly understand. If your girlfriend sessions are anything like mine; the topics range from relationship to kids to fashion to workout routines to career challenges to…. the list is almost endless. And, the discussions are all occurring at the same time. We may start with a grievance about our primary partner; which in turn sparks a tangential notion about a restaurant opening; which in turn careens into a fabulous new lip color only to circle right back around to some heartfelt earnest advice about our man. Two days of girl talk can leave us feeling clear and light; if for no other reason than just getting everything off our chest to other women who appreciate and understand.
3. Fun New Products Discovered
Whether it’s a new lipstick color, this supernatural, jewelry cleaner that makes gem stones sparkle at a blinding level, or the silkiest, skin-tone-evening sunscreen I have ever put on; you can count on a group of women to bring and share products you somehow missed? Amazon carries both of these and I cannot recommend them enough. Diamond Dazzle Stik is easy and quick to use. I can’t STOP cleaning my earrings! MDSOLARSCIENCES leaves my face looking and feeling natural all the while protecting it from harmful UV rays.
4. Self-Esteem
Our girlfriends are our biggest cheerleaders. Their love and support can erase self-doubt. They listen when we need to be heard. , they tell you that you look fabulous after just having a baby and, most importantly, they love you for being you. It’s an awesome self-esteem booster to leave a weekend spent with a group of women who like being with you, who care about you and who want you to be happy.
5. Happiness
“I know a lot of us hesitate to allocate any of our precious time to ‘outside’ interests.”
The most important benefit of a girls’ weekend is happiness; I think. There are so many things we can be happy about in our everyday life: good health (if we are fortunate to have it); our careers; our families. But, nothing feels quite the same as a weekend away from our daily grind. Being silly, giggling, and indulging in girl talk provide us a great opportunity to feel loved and appreciated, and that is priceless.
What I’ve discovered is that I need more of these types of encounters. I know a lot of us hesitate to allocate any of our precious time to ‘outside’ interests. We can be very focused on our primary relationship and our obligations to our family. Personally, I am going to make a concerted effort to up the ‘girl get-aways’; as long as my budget can handle all the new fun products discovered at each one.
