Midlife Shaman: Maria da Silva
Finding home after 50 isn’t always about a physical place; it’s often a soulful return to where you feel most whole, most loved, and most yourself.
As in The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy’s quest is fueled by one driving desire: to return home. Home. We all long for that place, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually.
There’s a Spanish word for this feeling—querencia—that has no perfect English equivalent. And yet, once you hear it, it feels instantly familiar.
Dorothy’s realization that “there’s no place like home” is more than just a happy ending. It’s a timeless truth: we all seek a place where we feel safe, loved, and fully ourselves. That’s querencia. But querencia isn’t always a place on a map. Sometimes, it’s a way of being.
Where Do You Feel Most Yourself?
For many of us, the concept of home has changed over the years. It’s no longer just a childhood house or a mailing address. Instead, we learn we can come home in other ways, emotionally, spiritually, even metaphysically.
So ask yourself: Where do you feel most yourself?
Is it a city, a beach, or a mountaintop? Is it beside a beloved friend, in a garden at dawn, or on a yoga mat surrounded by candlelight?
I’ve always been drawn to untranslatable words, those rare words that capture something too complex, too human, for literal definition. Querencia is one of them. Rooted in the Spanish verb querer, which means to love or to desire, querencia is a place (real or imagined)where your soul feels at home. A space where you feel grounded, strong, safe, and known.
It’s more than comfort. It’s a return to who you truly are.
Finding Home After 50, Embracing Querencia As Your Inner Compass:
Dorothy may have been young when she discovered the importance of home, but we, as women over 55, have lived the deeper truth of it. We’ve experienced transitions that reshape our sense of belonging: empty nests, retirement, divorce, loss, relocation, reinvention.
And in those moments, home often stops being a structure. It becomes a state of being.
The longing to re-root ourselves doesn’t end as we age. In fact, it often deepens. Many cultures view home as sacred, both physical and spiritual. And querencia captures this balance beautifully. It reminds us that we don’t just find our center, we create it. Like Dorothy, the path home is often long and winding. But it’s also ours to walk.
Creating Your Querencia: 4 Gentle Actions:
Here are a few simple but meaningful ways to start coming home to yourself—right now.
1. Name Your Inner Longing:
Take ten quiet minutes to journal:
- What does home mean to me now?
- Where do I feel most nourished? When do I exhale deeply?
Bringing clarity to your longing helps guide you toward fulfillment.
2. Create A Physical Nook:
Designate a small, sacred space, however modest, that reflects comfort and authenticity.
Use scent, light, softness, and objects that hold meaning.
Your querencia might be a chair beside a window, a favorite reading spot, or a sun-drenched corner of your garden. Let it be a place where you can just be.
3. Practice Soulful Return:
Choose a simple ritual that brings you back to yourself.
Morning tea in silence. A quiet walk without earbuds. Lighting a candle at dusk. Reading poetry aloud.
Let this become your return to center. Returning to your querencia is an act of self-respect.
4. Speak The Untranslatable:
Collect words that express deep emotional truths.
Words like:
- Saudade (Portuguese): a yearning for something beloved and absent.
- Wabi-sabi (Japanese): the beauty of imperfection and impermanence.
Write down three “untranslatable” feelings that define your current season of life. Let language become a mirror, not just a tool.
The Home You Carry Within:
Home can be a place, a practice, or a person—including yourself. Querencia isn’t about escape, it’s about return. To your essence. To what steadies and nourishes you. You deserve a space that doesn’t ask you to perform, only to belong.
So I’ll ask you again:
Where is your querencia waiting for you to return?
Hold that thought.
Now—make it happen.
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About the Author:
Maria da Silva is a practicing shaman, writer and traveler who lives in Plymouth, Massachusetts and travels frequently to her home islands of the Azores. The founder of Wise Shaman Within, she is bringing peace, healing, and light to the world one client and one workshop at a time. Maria provides individual client sessions and also facilitates workshops in both the USA and Portugal. Visit her website: Wise Shaman Within.
