Essential Hormonal Support For Mental Health In Midlife: How To Stay Grounded Through Grief And Stress

Menopause Matters: Kate Wells

I write often about the beautiful science of hormones and their magical effects in the body. This month’s article takes a more personal approach as some family events have posed some challenges for my own mental health. Never fear, there will be hormone science for your reading enjoyment!

The year has been busy thus far as Parlor Games continues to grow. Adding new team members and a layer of management excellence requires extra time and attention to recruitment and training. At age 62, my regular use of estradiol, estriol, progesterone and DHEA means I just about keep on top of the multitude of ever-changing daily tasks with some semblance of grace.

A little magnesium glycinate at bedtime helps the chatter in my brain go quiet for much needed sleep. On top of that – I manage to get out most weeks for long rejuvenating hikes in the mountains surrounding Grand Junction. It has felt a little like trying to bake the perfect souffle every day, but my hormone supplementation regime made it all possible.

Cortisol, Grief, And The Distance Between Us:

Then, in May we received news that my Mum’s health has taken a turn for the worse. She lives in England and has been dealing with breast cancer (4th round) which had spread to her lungs.

A recent hospitalization identified further spread to her spine and skull. England and my mum felt so distant, and my stress response system ratchetted up many notches as I strove to find out key information from 4,600 miles and 7 time zones away. 

The autonomic nervous system is responsible for managing the response to stress and puts the body/brain on alert for danger/threats. This ancient survival mechanism still rules our bodies and, as I thought of my Mum, laboring in hospital, I could feel my cortisol levels rising. I could almost hear norepinephrine and epinephrine cranking up the “panic in the streets” messaging  in my brain.

Sure enough, if I didn’t monitor myself closely my breathing would get shallower and shallower, and my pulse rate increased. There were several times I lay down on my office floor and took three minutes to do deep, deep, healing breaths. Deep body breathing which pushes the diaphragm out signals “all is well, nothing to see here, all is well”.

Why Hormonal Support For Mental Health In Midlife Matters More Than Ever:

I had three busy weekends ahead of me, volunteering and business travel commitments which would have been difficult to break, and I wrestled somewhat obsessively with the question of when to fly to England.

I also had a couple of medical appointments that I couldn’t do in England. Did I need to go immediately? Was there time for a more planned trip?  

DHEA was helping my brain focus on the long list of preparations needed for leaving the office for two months. Fortunately, we have an amazing group of team members so I knew they would be fine without me. Estrogen was helping my cardiovascular system, protecting my blood vessels from the increase in damaging free radicals running around my body from the stress.

Estrogen was supporting digestion and with copious amounts of water to flush free radicals I avoided stress related constipation. Progesterone was making GABA and helping me stay calm as well as optimizing insulin so my blood sugar was balanced and I didn’t start craving sugary foods…which only create more free radicals!

Supplements, Stillness, And The Search For Sleep:

My sister, who lives in England, was able to drive the 250 miles to see Mum and be a support to her and our Dad. She was able to access and share information and it began to seem as if the immediate crisis had passed.

Feeling I could breathe a little easier again I used a program of stretching and yoga and connection with dear friends to get quiet and find the answer to the “when shall I travel” question. I decided to follow through on my commitments in Colorado, but that did not turn down the chatter in my brain. Always one to second guess myself; there were multiple conversations going on my head, especially at bedtime.

My head needed more support so I could get the restorative sleep I needed. When I got home from work the first magic supplement trick was our Chaos Calmer, the combination of GABA, Magnesium and L-theanine both helped with calm AND allowed me to focus on the evenings tasks without slumping onto the sofa for four hours.

Next, magnesium glycinate is my go-to for sleep and it was time to go from one capsule to three. By taking these about an hour before bed, my brain could calm down. Once the lights were out and I was ready to sleep, I added a 1 mg dissolving melatonin which I have found works well to help me drop off.

Light, Dark, And The Hormonal Symphony Of Sleep:

Melatonin is a critical hormone involved in sleep. The body will only make melatonin when it is dark and when cortisol is low. Melatonin rules the night.

Through thousands of years of evolution, human physiology has adapted to flow with diurnal light/dark cycles using an internal biological clock that governs the response to light and day. There is a part of the hypothalamus in the brain called the suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN for  short), which acts as the control center for diurnal rhythms.

The retinas at the back of the eyes pick up messages about the amount of light or dark and send those messages to the SCN. The SCN then sends messages out to parts of the body and brain to produce hormones and neurotransmitters that control sleep, physical activity, alertness, hormone levels, body temperature, immune function, and digestive activity. In addition to the eyes, there are also light sensors in the skin, blood and bones, which all contribute to this communication process.

This is all why it is critical that I was getting my sleep, and because my cortisol and excitatory neurotransmitters were a little elevated, some extra melatonin after lights out made all the difference.

Love Is A Hormone Too:

Now the three weeks of travel are over, and I am here in England able to see my mum every day, my stress level has diminished.

The flurry of activity including planning to be away from the office for eight weeks and the unknowns of the last month definitely impacted my mental health, but my knowledge of science and access to hormones meant I was able to stay generally calm and focused and not spin out of control.  

But mental health is more than about adequate hormones and neurotransmitters. If I had been handling this alone it would have been harder, but my life partner has been right by my side: listening, helping me think through things, helping me process the emotions. His calm presence increases oxytocin, the bonding hormone and signals “you are safe” – a critical counter to the message from stress hormones.

He has helped with logistics and solution finding, he has also found an apartment for us to rent. He has been vital to this effort; I know I am supported, and this has been critical for my mental health. 

Turning Up, Tuning In, And Holding On:

This is my story today. If you find yourself struggling with multiple demands all at once and your mental health is or is becoming affected, perhaps some of the information shared in this article will help you understand some options for staying mentally safe and sane.

Next steps for me? Turn up every day for my Mum. Sit with her, paint her toenails if she wants, bring Reiki, let her know that she is not alone and that she is loved. Work a somewhat odd schedule to keep grounded with our awesome Parlor Games team. Hang out with family and be present. And, of course, make sure I am using my hormones every day!

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About the Author:

Kate Wells is a hormone expert and true biochem nerd who has been educating practitioners about hormones for many years. Starting out as a High School science teacher, and then pivoting to the business world, Kate new she wanted to combine her passions for science and business and found the perfect match in leadership roles at labs specializing in hormone testing and hormone formulation.

She currently runs her own bioidentical hormone product companies where she writes educational articles and continues to educate practitioners on the role of hormones in optimal longevity. Beyond nerding-out on the latest research, Kate is an avid hiker, regularly putting in 20-mile hikes in the beautiful wilds of Colorado, loves to build stuff, swing dance, and work with fabric to make colorful quilts. Kate is the author of A Forecast for Health and is the CEO and co-founder of Parlor Games LLC. Kate holds a BS, MBA, and has completed a Fellowship in Herbal Medicine.