Midlife Burnout: How Realignment Can Help You Reclaim The Spotlight

Reclaiming The Spotlight: Midlife (Re)Alignment As Your Antidote To Burnout

After decades spent shrinking, over functioning, or blending into the background, many midlife women suddenly feel a deep pull to show up fully, boldly, and unapologetically. Whether it’s style, sexuality, purpose, or simply taking up space without asking permission, this moment invites us to unmask ourselves and claim our place again or—sometimes—for the first time. 

And here’s a thought: what if this return to visibility, grounded in alignment with our values, could be the most powerful antidote to burnout?

Midlife Burnout As A Call To Realignment:

Burnout often arises when we’re exhausted by stressors, large and small, that pile up—not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We begin to feel cynically detached and ineffective.

Burnout is a psychological syndrome emerging as a prolonged response to chronic interpersonal stressors on the job. The three key dimensions of this response are an overwhelming exhaustion, feelings of cynicism and detachment from the job, and a sense of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment. The significance of this three‐dimensional model is that it clearly places the individual stress experience within a social context and involves the person’s conception of both self and others. (https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4911781/)   

In its International Classification of Diseases, 11th edition, the World Health Organization defines burnout strictly in occupational terms—to which I say,  “Come on! How is the woman who shows up at work not the same one who goes home at the end of the day?” No matter how good we think we are at compartmentalizing, I don’t believe you can simply leave your bag by the door of the office and your briefcase at the door of your home.

Critically, burnout, even in the strictly job-related sense, doesn’t stem solely from overwork (paid or unpaid): it can be a signal that our lives or work are misaligned with what matters most to us. 

Misalignment burnout happens when we constantly engage with environments and in activities that go against our innermost values and beliefs, leading to a disconnect between our true selves and professional identity. Our behavior may be driven by external rewards such as money, reputation and the need to live up to others’ expectations instead of intrinsic motivation and inner harmony between who we are and what we are doing. (https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/03/03/a-psychologist-explains-misalignment-burnout-when-your-job-isnt-your-purpose/?ctpv=searchpage) 

And research confirms that when we live in value-aligned ways, burnout, tension, and loss of direction diminish, while fulfillment and psychological well-being surge.

Living in alignment is more than a wellness practice; it’s a foundation for navigating life with clarity, purpose, and strength. When our actions reflect our core values, we’re more grounded and internally motivated. Aligned living doesn’t eliminate challenges; it equips us to face them with a clear sense of “why,” turning adversity into purpose-driven growth. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/leadership-diversity-and-wellness/202506/living-in-alignment-with-values-identity-and-purpose) 

These alignments, between what we do and who we are, aren’t optional midlife luxuries: they’re fundamental to our energy, joy, and capacity to show up as ourselves.

From Supporting Cast To Main Character

When the nest starts to empty, many parents, especially mothers, find themselves standing in the now-quiet space where they once put everyone else’s needs first. I can’t tell you how many women I know who lament, “I don’t know what I’m going to do now,” or ask with tears in their voices, “How are you managing without the kids at home?”

Let’s be clear: I’m not judging these women. They have made a different life choice than I did: they will likely always be mothers first and foremost, and they will be the most awesome grandmothers. Sharon Blackie would call them the maternal archetype.

Me? Not so much. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my kids. The are two of the most incredible humans I know, and I take great pride in saying, “I made them from scratch.” I also say, “Yeah, they’re out on their own more or less, I miss them awfully—and they are doing precisely what they’re meant to be doing: adulting!”

And I’m finally doing what I’m meant to be doing after putting my own dreams on hold for a long, long time. Can they count on me to drop everything and help when they really need me? Absolutely. Am I going to be checking on them, tracking their location, texting them incessantly, resenting it when they don’t call? Hell, no. 

This is the moment to pivot from the supporting role I (over?)adopted to becoming the main character of my own story, and if that idea resonates in you, I invite you to join me.

The shift begins with unearthing what you’ve deferred or paused: your passions, curiosities, or unlived dreams that whispered when the children were young, before you ever thought of having children—or heck, when you were a child. 

Resonance, Alignment, Sustainability:

So let’s talk about this pivot. Midlife reinvention isn’t about fixing a “crisis”; it’s a chance to realign work with meaning and legacy. 

Midlife career transitions are a chance to realign work with personal values and priorities in order to find our ‘calling’. (https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/midlife-reinvention-turning-crisis-opportunity)

And a word of caution: without clarity on what you want to align with, even purposeful pivots can lead to a replay of burnout. If you think the job’s the problem and you quickly move through the next one and the next one also thinking, “No, that’s not right either,” check yourself: you are the common denominator after all.

One coach’s midlife story reveals the power of slowing down before taking action: dig into what failed, study how your body responds to stress, and figure out what identity patterns and narratives you carry  that may not be serving you. This deeper, measured approach ensures that your next act is resonant, aligned, and sustainable. (https://www.beyondthedreamboard.com/blog/from-burnout-to-business-a-midlife-reinvention-that-resonates) 

Practical Steps To Realign And Shine:

As with all transformations, getting out of burnout requires you to do what I call EAT™ your way to wellness:

E = Engage:

Resist rushing in. Carve out quiet time and space to journal, meditate, or simply breathe. I find that a good long walk or hike in nature is a great practice if journaling/meditation aren’t your thing. This practice fuels clarity and extinguishes misalignment burnout.

The point of this is to engage with your intuition to identify your most deeply-held values. 

Ask yourself: Does this role or commitment or activity reflect my values? If not, burnout may loom. 

(Re)discovering values isn’t a “nice to have” activity—it’s essential to sustainable well-being.

A = Align:

You will face myriad choices—big and small—on a daily (hourly? minute-ly?) basis. See whether you can align your decision with the option that is most aligned with your identified value at least 50% of the time. That’s it! Aim low: 50%. 

Once you hit 50% regularly, try for 60%, then 75%, then 80%, then 90%. Once you’re at 80–90%, you are succeeding in a big way even if it’s at something that feels “small.”

Don’t wait for the grand pivot. Try out small, visible steps: a new hobby, volunteering, a new role at the same place of work, changing how you speak in meetings. Let that taste of alignment fuel a commitment to taking bigger and bigger steps.

T = Transform:

True, lasting transformation comes from aligning ourselves over and over again with our values around the change we wish to create in our lives.

Keep looking at your choices with curiosity (“Huh, why did I do that again?”) rather than judgment (“OH. MY. GOD. WHYDIDIDOTHATAGAIN?!?”) Because a nervous system in burnout does not need to feel judged—even by yourself!

Inviting yourself to look at “bad” choices with curiosity allows you to consider what you need to put in place to support yourself better next time you face the same choice.

From Midlife Burnout To You, Reclaimed:

Being mindful of practicing the EAT™ process will help you notice when burnout creeps in—exhaustion, cynicism, disconnection. And you’ll get better and better at reframing “I’m failing” to  “This is a signal I’m out of alignment.” 

Visibility—showing up as your whole, authentic self in every space, real and virtual—is easier when you’re supported. Seek out friends, mentors, or coaches who value your truth. Organizational alignment, whether in the workplace, the home, or your friend groups also makes your path smoother and less draining. 

When visibility is rooted in your values, it’s not about performance; it’s about authenticity. That alignment becomes an antidote to burnout, a source of energy, and the first act in your bold midlife reinvention. You’ve been a supporting character long enough. It’s time to step into your spotlight—fully, boldly, unapologetically.

This October, we at Kuel Life aren’t asking that you merely line up on the stage of life; we’re asking you to align up and reclaim your visibility, your sovereignty, and your power. And as a group of amazing thought leaders intent on normalizing aging by providing accurate information in thoughtful, insightful, practical ways for you to implement in your midlife journey, we’re here to support you.

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About the Author:

Liza is a certified Integrative Nutrition® Health Coach, author, and passionate advocate for women’s wellness in perimenopause and beyond. 

Her EAT | Your Way to Health™ and Stewarding Emotional Eating™ programs support women in renegotiating their relationship with food, stress, and themselves, finally coming into full alignment their intuition and entering a season of sacred harvest in place of decline.

You can learn more about Liza here: www.simplyhealthcoaching.com