When No One’s In Charge

I spent last week traveling with a girlfriend. We each took separate flights and met one another in Zurich, Switzerland. 

Even though we are technically neighbors, we live less than a third of a mile from one another, we find it near impossible to make time for one another. Why is that? How is it possible that we struggle making and keeping plans to spend time?

“when you plug-in all the variables each of us juggles, oftentimes we cannot squeeze in a dinner, or walk”

Well for starters, each of us is an entrepreneur business owner. Add to that we both have kids and family members that take precedent over one another. For whatever reason, when you plug-in all the variables each of us juggles, oftentimes we cannot squeeze in a dinner or walk or even just a quick coffee break together.

A Blameless Situation:

No one is to blame. It’s just a by-product of looking for common free time in the lives of two over-subscribed, busy women. I feel fairly certain we are not alone in this quandary. My bet is that many of us struggle making time for all the important people in our lives. 

I have a particular penchant for one on one time with my close friends. While I do well in a crowd, I do not necessarily subscribe to the “more is merrier” creed all the time. I prefer the intimate connection of a smaller group. That said, it literally takes more time to make time if I push for more one-on-one time.

“The reality is only one priority makes it to the top of the list at any given moment.”

This is the second time this particular friend and I have run away from home together. We make fun of ourselves that it’s so difficult to make time to nurture our friendship in our home country. The reality is that only one priority can make it to the top of the list at any given moment. At home, we both have endless responsibilities and commitments pulling at our heartstrings at all times that it seems that getting on the road together — ideally a continent away from partners, kids, employees, parents, house projects and the like — is the only thing that finally pushes us both to the forefront of the other’s priority list.

In Charge All The Time:

What happens when you’re so in charge of your life, driving change consistently, making many decisions all day long?

From the very first day of travel I could see the direction. Each of us is so responsible at home; each of us is always the driver in our lanes. Knowing and believing that the other is a highly functioning adult lent itself to a week of no one’s in charge. For this particular week, both drivers opted for the passenger seat.

Thankfully, not every time — we’re both too in control for that. But in areas where neither of us shines — navigational skills and an embarrassing lack of comprehension of the metric system come to mind — things could tend to fall apart. We often found ourselves smiling wryly at one another in acknowledgement that neither of us was really listening to asked-for directions.

“For this particular week, both drivers opted for the passenger seat.”

Trust me when I tell you it didn’t slow us down. It did, however, lend itself to a fair amount of extra steps and just-on-time direction inquiries of locals. Thankfully neither one of us has any issues asking for additional help along the way.

Does It Need To Change?

One night under the influence of a highly physical day and a few glasses of a local Swiss wine, we verbalized the dynamic. Why is it so hard to prioritize one another stateside? And more importantly, should we or could we do something different? 

After “figuring it out,” the “why” no one’s in charge, I come to the conclusion that I am really okay with the rarity of our get-togethers. Instead of lamenting the absence of it in my hometown, I choose to accept the gift that is us when far away from our distractions and obligations. And for those brief moments in time, I am willing to take my chances with no one in the driver seat. I mean what could go wrong?

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