Divorce and Transitions: Mardi Winder-Adams
As a divorce coach for high-achieving women, I often encounter the misconception that prenuptial agreements, or prenups, are only necessary for the ultra-wealthy or those with significant assets.
This couldn’t be further from the truth. Prenups are a crucial tool for every woman, regardless of her financial situation. Prenups protect her interests and ensure clarity as to what will happen in the event of a divorce.Â
Why A Prenup? – We Are In Love:
One of the biggest sources of resistance is the idea that a prenup means you are not in love with your partner or there is a lack of trust. In reality, a prenup is simply a way that you both agree your assets and liabilities will be divided if the relationship is not sustainable at some point in the future. It is important to remember that marriage is not just an emotional and personal commitment, but also a legal contract with significant financial implications.
“This is particularly important for women who may have inherited wealth, own a business, or have substantial savings and investments.”
Also, keep in mind, 100% of couples at the altar report their marriage will last. But divorce rates are about 50% across first, second, third, and other marriages. A prenup clearly outlines each party’s financial rights and responsibilities. Including property ownership, debt management, and financial support. Having a prenup in place dramatically reduces the cost of the divorce. And also helps to prevent a lot of the conflict around the division of property, assets, and debt.Â
Protect Your Assets:
A prenup can safeguard your personal assets and financial independence. Whether you are entering the marriage with significant assets or expect to acquire them in the future, a prenup can help ensure that these assets remain yours in the event of a divorce. This is particularly important for women who may have inherited wealth, own a business, or have substantial savings and investments.Â
A prenup protects your financial independence and future security by clearly defining what constitutes individual versus marital property. Even if you live in one of the nine community property states in the USA, this is critical, as, without the prenup, everything purchased during the marriage (with a few exceptions) becomes a 50/50 split in these states.
Management Of Debt Or What You Spend You Owe:
A well-drafted prenup can address and manage potential debt issues. If either party enters the marriage with existing debts, a prenup can specify who pays off these debts and protect the other party from being held liable. This is especially important in a high-conflict divorce, where a spouse might try to offload debt repayment. Having a prenup in place helps to avoid financial surprises and protect your credit score and economic stability.
Division Of Assets On Your Terms:
A prenup helps ensure a fair and equitable division of assets. Without a prenup, state laws may determine how your assets are divided in the event of a contested divorce that goes to the court. These laws vary significantly and may not align with your preferences or circumstances. This can be especially important for women who have taken time off work to raise children or support their spouse’s career, as it ensures their contributions are recognized and valued.
“Discussing a prenup requires couples to have frank conversations about their finances, expectations, and goals.”
Future Income Protection:
Talk to your attorney about designing a prenup to protect your future income and earning potential. For many women, their earning potential can be significantly affected by marriage and divorce. A prenup can include provisions for spousal support or alimony, ensuring that you are adequately supported if the marriage ends. It is particularly important if you plan to take a career break to raise children. Or if there is a significant income disparity between you and your spouse. It is also relevant if one spouse is caring for a disabled child or family member or may not be able to return to work.
Better Understanding In Prenup:
Believe it or not, working through a prenup can strengthen your relationship by promoting open and honest communication. Discussing a prenup requires couples to have frank conversations about their finances, expectations, and goals.Â
These discussions can help build a strong foundation of trust and mutual understanding, which is crucial for a healthy and successful marriage. By addressing potential issues and concerns upfront, you can prevent future conflicts and ensure that both parties are committed to working together to achieve their shared goals.
On the other hand, these conversations may point to potential challenges in the relationship with financial management and responsibility. Suppose the spouses are on very different pages regarding how to deal with debt and assets. In that case, this will likely be an ongoing source of friction and conflict throughout the marriage (should you decide to move forward knowing this is an issue).Â
It is important to work with an attorney to draw up the prenup. A do-it-yourself prenup is likely to include language or specific issues that are not allowed by law. This will result in enforcement issues with the prenup and add to the cost and time involved in the divorce.Â
Some things are not allowed in these agreements, including issues around child custody, parenting time, child support, forcing a party to waive the right to alimony, or any non-financial requirements. These issues also vary between jurisdictions, which is why having it completed by an attorney is an essential step.Â
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About the Author:
Mardi Winder-Adams is an Executive and Leadership Coach, Certified Divorce Transition Coach, and a Credentialed Distinguished Mediator in Texas. She has experienced her own divorce, moved to a new country and started her own business, and worked through the challenges of being a caregiver and managing the loss of a spouse.
Handling life transitions and pivots is her specialty! In her professional role as a divorce coach, Mardi has helped hundreds of women before, during, and after divorce to reduce the emotional and financial costs of the process. She is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC.
