Elder Care Thought Leader: Cynthia Perthuis
Caring for aging parents is one of the hardest — and most meaningful — roles midlife women take on. With the right support, it’s possible to protect your loved ones without losing yourself.
A caregiver is anyone who steps up when illness, disability, or aging makes it hard for someone to manage life alone. Sometimes that means juggling medications and appointments. Other times it means hauling laundry, cooking meals, or lifting someone twice your size out of a chair. Caregiving is love in action — but it’s also one of the toughest jobs you’ll ever take on.
The Wide Scope Of Caregiving:
The truth? The scope is endless. Caregivers pay bills, prep meals, chase down doctors, fight with insurance companies, give baths, and clean up messes no one wants to talk about. Some tasks you learn on the fly. Others you wish someone had trained you for before you were thrown into the fire.
Most family caregivers do all this for little or no pay. And while it’s often done from love, let’s be honest: it can consume every ounce of your energy if you’re not careful.
Caring For Aging Parents–Managing Caregiver Stress Without Burnout:
Caring for someone isn’t just a “noble calling.” It’s stressful, exhausting, and relentless. The numbers tell a brutal truth: family caregivers suffer higher rates of depression, and studies show many decline faster than the loved ones they’re caring for. Neglect your own health long enough, and everyone loses.
Bold truth: Martyrdom is not the measure of love.
That’s why boundaries, breaks, and backup plans aren’t luxuries; they’re survival strategies.
8 Ways To Protect Your Mental Health As A Caregiver:
- Don’t minimize your work. You’re giving a life-changing gift.
- Stay plugged into hobbies, friendships, and the outside world. Even 30 minutes a week helps.
- Celebrate the good days (and don’t blame yourself for the hard ones).
- Control what you can. Release the rest.
- Ask for help — and be specific. People often want to contribute but need direction.
- Find someone safe to talk to: counselor, peer, or friend.
- Treat yourself: a walk, a nap, or a guilty-pleasure binge matters more than you think.
- Remember: rest is not weakness. It’s maintenance.
The Physical Strain No One Warns You About:
Until you’ve tried lifting a 180-pound adult off a bathroom floor, you can’t imagine the toll caregiving takes on your body. Even “simple” transfers — in and out of bed, up from a chair — can shred your back and joints.
Adaptive equipment isn’t indulgence; it’s protection. Transfer boards, gait belts, hydraulic lifts: these tools keep both you and your loved one safer. If you can get them, use them. Also look into getting a stairlift if you haven’t got one already. Senior Stairlifts offers stairlifts for narrow and tricky staircases, if you want a good starting point for your search.
And here’s something many don’t realize: caregiving doesn’t always have to be unpaid. To make life slightly easier, you could actually be compensated for caring for a loved one if they hire you. Companies like FreedomCare help families choose caregivers they already trust, instead of relying on strangers. It’s not a fix for every burden, but it can provide both income and recognition for the work you’re already doing.
Navigating The Transitions:
Sometimes the hardest part isn’t the daily grind but the big changes: when independent living isn’t safe anymore, or when family members can’t agree on next steps. Assisted living, home care agencies, nursing homes — the maze is overwhelming. Having a neutral expert in your corner to facilitate those conversations can be the difference between constant conflict and a workable plan.
The Bottom Line
Caregiving is both love and labor. It will test your patience, your health, and your endurance. But here’s the non-negotiable: you matter too. Protecting your mental health, your body, and yes, your financial stability, is part of caring well. This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about building a sustainable path, one where you and your loved one both have a shot at dignity, safety, and peace.
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About the Author:
Cynthia Perthuis left her cushy life in Corporate America in 2018 to use her personal experience with her parents and her entrepreneurial background to help the 10,000 people a day turning 65 in the US. The stress of helping aging loved ones and working full-time and caring for her own family while living over 1500 miles apart was overwhelming at times. She often wished there was a non-conflicted industry professional to help when facing these life-changing decisions. She has created her team at Senior Care Authority (www.scanyfl.com) for that purpose. Her team supports over 300 families a year as they navigate these decisions. For a free consultation, contact Senior Care Authority at 239-330-2133.
