Midlife Reinvention Thought Leader: Yvonne Marchese
The doctor said, “I don’t like the look of that”, and in that instant my life began to change.
Life often has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs at us, and for many, midlife is the time when these challenges seem to come thick and fast. That was definitely my experience as I navigated my 40s, a decade marked by a series of minor health concerns that added up to more than the sum of their parts.
The Financial Risk:
I was a mom to young kids in my 40s. I was also working at a stressful, dead-end customer service job with long hours while I tried to build a photography business on the side. Moreover, I had dreams of being a full-time photographer, but I was afraid to take the financial risk. I found myself completely exhausted at the end of each day.
I’d have a drink or two most nights as I worked on photo edits after the kids were in bed. In addition, I was a night owl which meant I had a tough time getting up in the mornings. I would start each day running late because I hit the snooze button too many times, and my days felt out of control from the moment I had to open my eyes. It was a vicious cycle.
Between chronic headaches, back problems, foot pain, and a six-month battle with pneumonia, it felt like my body was constantly letting me down, leaving me feeling physically and emotionally drained. I chalked it all up to the fact that I was getting older, and these sorts of things were to be expected.
I was a night owl which meant I had a tough time getting up in the mornings.
How My Bunions Saved Me:
At one point, I had shoulder pain that kept me from being able to pull a shirt over my head which was diagnosed as bursitis. That really shouted old people problems! What a delight to be informed by my physical therapist that women of a certain age were prone to getting “frozen shoulder.”
My doctor and the PT both told me that if I didn’t do the prescribed exercises, I’d be a likely candidate for surgery. That had me running scared. I promised to be a good girl and do my exercises!
It was foot pain from bunions that ultimately led to the wake-up call I desperately needed.
I lived with unexplained pain in my left foot for several years. For a long time, I thought I just needed better shoes, but when it got so bad that I couldn’t walk around barefoot without shooting pain, I knew I needed to see a doctor.
Bunions Let To An Early Detection Of Cancer:
The podiatrist immediately identified that I had bunions, and told me that was the source of the pain in my left foot. Then, he took a look at the bottom of my feet, and noticed a dark mole on the heel of my right foot.
He said, “I don’t like the look of that.” He took a biopsy right away, and it turned out I had a rare form of melanoma. While the diagnosis was undoubtedly scary, catching it early meant that I could undergo a relatively simple surgery to remove it, sparing me from the ordeal of chemotherapy or radiation.
Looking back, I find myself grateful for my bunions, as they inadvertently led to the early detection of cancer that I surely would have missed had I not gone to the doctor for my foot pain. I saw the mole months before, but I thought it was a blood blister. In addition, I wrote it off as nothing to worry about, and I completely forgot it was there. I mean, how often do you look at the bottom of your feet?
I chalked it all up to the fact that I was getting older, and these sorts of things were to be expected.
Staring down the possibility of a life-threatening illness, I realized that I had been squandering precious time in a job that brought me no joy, and left me feeling stagnant and unfulfilled. Moreover, it forced me to confront my own negative mindset—a constant stream of complaints and grievances that only served to reinforce my sense of unhappiness and discontent.
My Negative Self-Talk:
With the specter of cancer looming in the background, I made the conscious decision to seize control of my destiny. I sought out a new job. And I began to explore the possibility of turning my photography side gig into a full-fledged business. The road ahead was daunting, filled with uncertainty, and steep learning curves. But I was determined to make the most of the time I had left.
I eventually began to realize that much of my negative self-talk stemmed from internalized ageism. I was telling myself that all my ailments were to be expected as I was getting older. Now, I recognize that those kinds of thoughts can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When we tell ourselves it’s all downhill after 40, and that aging means we are doomed to physical and mental decline, our brains tend to find evidence to support those thoughts, which affects our daily choices and actions. Why bother to exercise and eat right when we are destined to be weak and frail when we get old?
In the end, my bunions saved me in more ways than one — not just by alerting me to a potentially life-threatening illness, but by igniting a fire within me to live my life with purpose and passion, regardless of the obstacles that may stand in my way. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
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About the Author:
Yvonne Marchese is the host of the Late Bloomer Living Podcast, a professional photographer, mother and wife. At the age of 48, she realized that she’d bought into a story about getting old that was adversely affecting her health and relationships.Changing her story about aging inspired her to start the Late Bloomer Living Podcast where she is on a mission to redefine society’s ideas on aging and exploring how to live a life by design. Yvonne believes that midlife is filled with possibility, that it’s never too late to pursue a dream and that the stories we tell ourselves have tremendous power. Who knew that midlife could be so much fun? Follow Yvonne on IG –@latebloomerliving
