Navigating Midlife Transitions: How To Find Your Ikigai And Reclaim Joy

It’s My Time Now: Kavita Ahuja

As women in midlife especially, we are so accustomed to looking after others – whether it’s our kids if we have them, parents, spouses, employers, friends – that we often forget what it means to prioritize ourselves.

In fact, when we do finally have time to dedicate to ourselves, there is almost a sense of panic or loss: “What am I going to DO now?”

My Ikigai:

The truth is, we have become so accustomed to DOING that the concept of BEING can be confusing and unsettling. I experienced this firsthand during an unexpected 10-day stretch spent entirely alone. The initial feeling of having to fill every waking moment with stuff was soon replaced by a quiet knowledge and understanding that all I needed to do was listen to myself or my inner being, and she would guide me along the right path. 

“The truth is, we have become so accustomed to DOING that the concept of BEING can be confusing and unsettling.”

The constant clutter in my head was replaced with ease and calm – and that is when the magic started happening. Thoughts and ideas started surfacing – creative thoughts which had truthfully been suppressed with the “busyness” of life. 

As I reflect on what has brought happiness and fulfillment to my life and career, I see it clearly: it’s my Ikigai, or my reason for being. What does that mean? It is more than just a sense of purpose –  Ikigai is an alignment between what you do and who you are. It connects you to something larger than yourself.

The Pause:

When women come to me seeking guidance on their next steps, the first thing I encourage is the pause. This moment of stillness is essential to reconnect with who they are and who they want to be. I often share two powerful questions from William Bridges’ book, Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes.

1. What Is It Time To Let Go Of In My Own Life Right Now?

This could be a belief, attitude, goal, or part of your identity that no longer serves you.

2. What Is Standing Backstage, In The wings Of My Life, Waiting To Make Its Entrance?

The answer could be internal or external—a thought that won’t leave your mind or a situation just outside the door of your everyday awareness.

These questions guide reflection during the messy middle of any transition. The process often begins with a trigger—something that forces you to ask, “What’s next?” This could be a significant life event like a divorce, job loss, retirement, or an empty nest. Or it could be that persistent, quiet voice within that refuses to be ignored.

Find Your Way Navigating Midlife Transitions:

The best way I have discovered to navigate this messy middle of transition is to determine your Ikigai. According to Japanese culture, to find your Ikigai is to find your way of being and living. It guides you forward by looking at the sweet spot between: 

1. What you’re good at (your strengths)
2. What you love (your passions)
3. What the world needs (your values)
4. What you can be paid for (what brings abundance into your life)

It’s also worth considering the environment where you thrive best. These factors work together to guide you toward fulfillment.

“Ikigai isn’t a one-time discovery—it’s an ongoing process.”

Ikigai Is An Ongoing Process:

Ikigai isn’t a one-time discovery—it’s an ongoing process. Each year, I revisit mine to ensure I’m aligned with my purpose. When you engage in work and life that fulfill these elements, this creates positive, or anabolic energy. This leads to a state of flow where you lose yourself in what you’re doing—and that leads to lasting fulfillment and peace.

Some people might argue, “You can’t just let things happen—you have to put in the effort!” I agree wholeheartedly with that. As long as it is effort which is inspired by your Ikigai! If you go against the tide and are always rowing upstream – eventually you are going to be exhausted and give up.

Instead, take the pause, listen to your inner being, find your Ikigai which will release that anabolic energy that will naturally allow you to flow downstream easily; towards fulfillment, peace, abundance, and yes, happiness.

You’ve got this, my friend. Just be easy on yourself, and everything else will follow!

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