Wildly Imperfect: Elaine Blais
Why 80% of New Year’s Resolutions Fail—and what to do instead.
Did you know that 80-92% of New Year’s resolutions are broken by February? So why do we bother? Why do we keep making promises to ourselves that we struggle to keep?
Because we’re hopeful. Because we care. Because, as humans, we’re wired to want to create the best life we can envision for ourselves. And yet, despite our best efforts, this is where we often get stuck.
The Problem with Resolutions: Living from the Past:
Our beautiful brains are miraculous but limited when it comes to envisioning change. Here’s the truth: when we try to create something new for ourselves, our brains default to what they already know—our past experiences. It’s like rifling through a file cabinet stuffed with every “good, bad, and indifferent” moment of our lives. When we attempt to set a resolution, our mind often searches these files for what’s probable based on who we’ve been, rather than what’s possible – which could be limitless.
“Our beautiful brains are miraculous but limited when it comes to envisioning change.”
For example, when I worked in the corporate world, most people I knew settled for their annual 3% raise. It was all they believed they could get, based on their experience. For a while, that was me too—until I worked for a company where I received 10-15% raises. Suddenly, I saw what was possible. But it wasn’t until I left that environment that I realized I had still been settling in other ways.
Resolutions also come from this same place of limitation. They focus on fixing what we perceive as wrong about us. I need to lose weight because I’m not good enough as I am. I need to work harder because I’m lazy. We start from a mindset of inadequacy, of lack. And here’s the kicker:
You are not broken. There is nothing wrong with you. You are already enough.
When we believe we are flawed, every broken resolution becomes further proof that we can’t measure up. It’s a vicious cycle of disappointment and self-criticism. But what if there’s a better way?
The Power of Intention: A Radical Shift:
While it’s wonderful to have goals, they often focus on external results: I’ll publish my second book by June or I’ll lose 20 pounds this year. These goals, while motivating, can leave us stuck in frustration when life happens and we fall short.
What I’ve discovered through my own journey of embracing imperfections and self-approval is this: Intentions are more powerful than resolutions.
When we set intentions, we decide who we want to be and how we want to show up in the world. It’s not about “fixing” ourselves—it’s about becoming more of who we truly are.
Here’s an example: Instead of resolving to lose weight, you might set an intention to be someone who loves and nourishes their body. This shift changes everything. You’re no longer focused on numbers or restrictions—you’re focused on the feeling of self-love and care. With every choice you make, you ask: Is this aligned with someone who loves and honors herself?
This intention guides your behavior in a way that resolutions never could.
“It’s not about “fixing” ourselves—it’s about becoming more of who we truly are.”
Embracing Imperfections: The Art of Self-Approval:
The beauty of setting intentions is that they allow us to start from a place of wholeness. You don’t need to be “fixed” because you are not broken.
This is where The Art of Self-Approval comes in. It’s not about striving for perfection—it’s about embracing your wildly imperfect, beautifully authentic self.
Self-approval begins with:
- Awareness: Noticing where you’ve been living from fear, lack, or old stories.
- Acknowledgment: Accepting what is without judgment.
- Acceptance: Recognizing that you are already worthy of love and joy right now.
- Alignment: Deciding who you want to be and living into that intention.
- Action: Taking inspired steps from a place of love and possibility.
Intentions support this process. When you set an intention, you are saying, I am already enough, and I choose to step into a version of myself that reflects that truth. It’s not about achieving a perfect outcome—it’s about showing up fully as you are, imperfections and all.
Who Do You Want to Be?
If your resolutions haven’t worked in the past, it’s not because you’re lazy or undisciplined. It’s because you’ve been focused on doing rather than being.
Ask yourself:
- Who do I want to be this year?
- How do I want to feel in my body, my relationships, and my work?
- What would someone who loves themselves choose today?
When you set intentions instead of resolutions, you move from self-criticism to self-compassion. You begin to align with your vision of possibility—a vision unclouded by past limitations. You let go of perfectionism and embrace your perfectly imperfect, authentic self.
And that’s where the magic happens.
Final Thoughts: A New Way to Begin:
This year, don’t set resolutions that come from a place of lack. Set intentions that honor who you are and who you are becoming. You are already enough. You are already worthy. You are already capable of creating a life you love—a life that reflects the best of who you are.
Start there. Intend to be. And watch what unfolds.
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About the Author:
Elaine Blais is Spiritual Life Coach, Imperfection Alchemist and author whose superpower is helping humans, primarily women, alchemize their perceived imperfections and turn them into strengths. Her signature program, The Art of Self-Approval™ is a pathway to breaking free from the chains of perfectionism and people-pleasing and unlocking your full potential.
After a quarter century in the corporate grind, and years of struggling with co-dependency and self-doubt, Elaine decided to leave behind what was expected of her and transform into the woman she wanted to be. So, at fifty-nine, she decided to write a new chapter in her life, literally.Her debut book, 3 Secrets to a Kickass Life, is a manifesto for those looking to live with intention and purpose. Elaine believes you can write your own story too.
