The Let Go – Personal Musings: Charisse Glenn
“One of the basic rules of the universe is that nothing is perfect. Perfection simply doesn’t exist…..Without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist”~ Stephen Hawking
The older I have grown the more I have given up the fear of imperfection. Instead of comparing my new (and improved) self to the youth of my old self, I shifted my mindset. I am not less than I was, I am simply more of what I am.
Striving for perfection is often a trait equated with ambition. We aim to go over and beyond with hopes of attaining the accolades given to only the highest achievers. Emphasis is placed on perfection when in reality, perfection is unattainable.
“The concept of perfection is an underlying feeling with imposter syndrome…..”
Being Imperfect And Success:
The concept of perfection is an underlying feeling with imposter syndrome, defined as the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved. It is prevalent amongst successful people.
It exists because of the inability to honor ourselves and our self-worth.
Yet, it cannot occur if we embrace the reality that we are enough as we are. An original cannot be an imposter of itself.
Humans are flawed, yet, we are the essence of perfection within these flaws: each is a unique specimen. The pursuit of perfection ceases when we understand this. We are already perfect within our perceived imperfections.
“No one likes to be around someone who professes to be perfect.”
It Doesn’t Exist:
Striving for perfection suggests that we can achieve a state of flawlessness without any deficits, faults, or blemishes. But, unfortunately, this is a unicorn; it doesn’t exist.
If we could somehow reach that state of flawlessness, we would also be an outcast, unreachable, and intolerable. No one likes to be around someone who professes to be perfect. One reason is, it highlights our deficiencies, and secondly, it removes any commonality we have. We want to see the mess and humanness, to see the struggle, the fears, ups and downs, and feelings.
So why do we strive for this perfection when in reality, we don’t like those that act as if they are?
“It is the ultimate level of self-acceptance.”
Acceptance With Being Imperfect:
It comes from a deep state of insecurity. Somewhere in our upbringing, we were taught to believe that we were, in fact, not enough as we are. You may have heard it from family or teachers. Words that may have been bantered around innocently, unaware and unconscious that those words would have solid, lasting effects. You are an idiot, you are not pretty enough, you are too short, too skinny, or you will never amount to anything: the adjectives used to brainwash effectively are endless.
You may have been mistreated, compared with others, or falsely blamed for things you had nothing to do with.
Accepting that we are enough just as we are without needing to be anything more is the first step. It is the ultimate level of self-acceptance.
However, acceptance is not a sign of complacency that our inner work is complete. On the contrary, it is a starting point of understanding. Once this is acknowledged, with diligence, consciousness, and honest eyes, the transformation can begin.
Rewiring Our Thoughts:
If you are willing to put effort into striving for perfection at work, are you ready to put the work into yourself to uncover the most of who you are?
It begins with rewiring our thoughts.
Start by identifying your negative self-talk. The niggly voice reminds us that we cannot succeed even though our hearts want to. The conversations we have with ourselves permit us to give up when an obstacle comes our way or quit before we start. Although the kernel of those thoughts began long ago, we carry with us their ramifications.
The good news is, that is history.
It is necessary to focus on where we are headed if we want to change our future. The past is the past, so leave it there.
“With acceptance comes the flexibility to adapt.”
Our Lives Bloom:
Two thoughts cannot occupy the same space at the same time. So when you hear your negative thoughts, erase them. Yes, erase them. Say out loud, I erase that thought or take your hand as if erasing a chalkboard. Then replace it with an I can, I am enough thought.
When we accept that we are enough, our lives bloom. We will attract what we deserve alerting the universe to what we want. With acceptance comes the flexibility to adapt.
Letting Go Of Behaviors:
The path to self-actualization is personal, and letting go of behaviors we have long held to be who we are can be immensely challenging. Many will never do it. Although it may appear daunting before we begin the work, the rewards will exceed the effort. Often those with the furthest to come are the ones who climb the highest, proving that it is all possible.
“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it. Perfection is impossible; just strive to do your best.” ~ Jerry Moran
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