Parent Coach for Moms of Teens: Fern Weis
Social anxiety for me was real. At 16, I often found myself lingering on the sidelines.
I was part of a local youth group with many chapters, attending Friday and Saturday night gatherings at members’ homes. (And yes, there was always a parent around.) I was brave enough to show up, but not to engage. I was the one seated on a chair in the corner, offering a polite smile but seldom trying to connect. My social interactions were almost non-existent.
Overcoming Social Anxiety:
If I had stayed home, I’d have had minimal anxiety. So, why did I go? Deep down, I sensed there was a different life waiting for me, one I longed to experience.
However, simply showing up wasn’t sufficient. It took several months for me to find the courage to behave differently, to genuinely socialize. Smiling, talking, laughing, initiating conversations—it was incredibly challenging and draining, both emotionally and physically. And it felt risky.Â
Who should I approach? Who should I avoid? What should I say? How should I respond? Would they accept me? Reject me? What if I embarrassed myself? How could I make a swift exit? Oh my gosh, what was I doing there?!
“Despite the fear, I pushed through. That’s when I discovered how to participate rather than just observe. Developing these skills took years.”
Despite the fear, I pushed through. That’s when I discovered how to participate rather than just observe. Developing these skills took years. Now, I confidently engage in most settings. However, I still feel hesitant in large groups and prefer not to mingle. But I do it anyway when there’s a greater purpose or goal.
Can you relate to any of this? Whether you do or not, I urge you to see your teenager with a new perspective and loving curiosity.Â
Building Trust In The Relationship:
For many, their world is intimidating. When they withdraw, it’s not due to laziness, antisocial tendencies, or apathy. Those might be the visible behaviors and attitudes, but there’s often a fear or need underlying them. That’s what drives behavior.
At the very least, create opportunities for them to express their feelings. It’s the first step in processing emotions and daring to try something new.
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About the Author:
Fern Weis is a Parent Empowerment Coach for Moms of Teens and a Family Recovery Coach. She’s also a wife, former middle school teacher, and the parent of two adult children who taught her more about herself than she ever could have imagined. Â
Fern partners with moms of teens and young adults, privately and in groups. She helps them grow their confidence to build strong relationships and emotionally healthier kids who become successful adults. She knows first-hand that when parents do the work, the possibilities for change are limitless; that it’s never too late to start; and you don’t have to do it alone. Learn more about Fern at www.fernweis.com. Contact Fern for a complimentary Parent Discovery Call. https://bit.ly/3J9wxzz
If you’re ready to stop collecting parenting information and move to action and implementation, the Moms’ Circle is your next best step. For information on this small group coaching program, contact Fern.
