Parent Coach for Moms of Teens: Fern Weis
Whatever their marital status, co-parents usually want to feel more connected to each other.
They know that feeling connected is more satisfying, and they can have more positive impact and influence on their children.
“Connected parents have learned how to resolve conflict without inflicting more pain.”
Why this connection?
Let’s clear up a misconception first. Connected parents argue, see things differently, and struggle. They’re like everyone else. What makes them different?
Connected parents have learned how to resolve conflict without inflicting more pain. They are playful. They present a united front, even when they don’t agree 100% on a course of action.
Children Are Emotionally Healthier With Connected Parents:
Why are children emotionally healthier with connected parents?
Love is good, but it’s not enough. My husband and I brought our own family history, experiences, and emotional needs into our marriage. Add children to the mix (and their crises, large and small), paying the bills, and managing life… well, things got messy, and feeling connected was not on our radar at times.
Looking back, I can only imagine how hard it must have been on our kids. When parents are foundering, where does that leave the children?
Children need consistency. They need to know where they stand and what is expected of them. When they learn to play one parent against the other, they can manipulate their way into getting their way, and everyone loses.
“Parents who can disagree without being mean, and make up fairly quickly, are modeling important relationship skills”
Parents who can disagree without being mean, and make up fairly quickly, are modeling important relationship skills (conflict resolution). Children learn it’s okay to disagree, and they will still be loved. They feel more confident that their parents will be loving and supportive of each other and of them (even if their parents are no longer together).
Playfulness Takes The Intensity Out Of Life:
Parents who can be lighthearted take some of the intensity out of life (playfulness). It’s a great way to soften tense moments and release pent-up negative energy.
Connection nourishes loving attachment and security. Children who see connected parents and feel connected to them feel safer. At a deeper level, they know their parents will always be there to love and support them, whether the parents stay together or not. If things aren’t going as well as you’d like, start with the attitude that you’re doing this for your children. You can also access help (in the form of a parent coach or therapist) if needed.
Connected parents are a key to your child’s emotional health and growth. Be the key.
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About the Author:
Fern Weis is a Parent Empowerment Coach for Moms of Teens and a Family Recovery Coach. She’s also a wife, former middle school teacher, and the parent of two adult children who taught her more about herself than she ever could have imagined.
Fern partners with moms of teens and young adults, privately and in groups. She helps them grow their confidence to build strong relationships and emotionally healthier kids who become successful adults. She knows first-hand that when parents do the work, the possibilities for change are limitless; that it’s never too late to start; and you don’t have to do it alone. Learn more about Fern at www.fernweis.com.
Advice for divorced parents?