Divorce Finances For Women Over 50: What You Need To Know To Protect Your Future

Divorce and Transitions: Mardi Winder-Adams

One of the most common phrases I hear from women in the early stages of divorce is, “I don’t even know where to start when it comes to the finances.”

That’s okay, and perfectly normal. This type of beginning is precisely the right place to start to learn. Your financial picture is the foundation for nearly every decision you’ll make throughout the divorce process, and it needs to align with what you want for your future.

The Power Of Knowing Your Finances In Divorce:

Making financial decisions based solely on wanting to get out of the relationship is a critical error that can cost you tens of thousands of dollars in your post-divorce life. Bad financial decisions cannot be undone, so spending time understanding the money picture is not just important; it is mission-critical for your post-divorce life. 

Knowing your numbers means understanding:

• What you own
• What you owe
• What you earn
• What you spend
• What you’ll need for both the short-term and long-term

It isn’t about becoming a financial expert overnight. It’s about gathering the facts, asking thoughtful questions, hiring the right professionals, and building financial awareness so you can confidently make informed choices.

When you know your financial reality, you’re no longer guessing in the dark or reacting out of fear. As an informed, proactive participant, you’re showing up to mediation, legal consultations, and settlement discussions with the understanding you need to make decisions that support your goals and ensure you are not overlooking possible downsides to specific financial choices. 

Having financial clarity early in the divorce process has several benefits. A closer look at each one helps to highlight why this is a crucial consideration, particularly if you are not aware of all the ins and outs of the financial picture in the relationship.

1. It Levels The Playing Field:

Let’s say your spouse has always managed the money and seems to know every account, asset, and tax trick in the book, while you may have little knowledge of the accounts and assets. That can feel intimidating, but information is power. The more you know, the less room there is for manipulation, confusion, or being talked into something that isn’t in your best interest.

2. It Supports Smarter Legal And Mediation Strategies:

When you walk into a meeting with your attorney or mediator, you’ll be discussing spousal support, child-related expenses, property division, and more. If you don’t know what’s on the table, it’s hard to advocate for what’s fair. Knowing your numbers allows your legal team to do their job effectively and helps you avoid costly delays or mistakes.

It also helps you to review the financial information provided by your spouse and verify everything is accurate and assets haven’t been left off the account statements.

3. It Gives You Negotiation Confidence:

Divorce often comes with big financial conversations that can quickly become emotional in tone and nature. When you’re grounded in facts, staying calm, avoiding defensiveness, and keeping the discussion focused on outcomes is easier. Confidence comes from clarity, not from hoping everything will “just work out for the best.”

4. It Helps Protect Your Future:

Divorce isn’t just about dividing the past. It’s also about protecting your future. Understanding tax liabilities, retirement savings, investment accounts, real estate equity, and future cash flow ensures you don’t unintentionally agree to something that sounds good on paper but leaves you struggling five years down the road.

Why Divorce Finances For Women Over 50 Deserve Extra Attention And Care:

Let’s break it down. These are the basics every woman going through a divorce should gather and understand. I recommend getting started on gathering this information as early in the process as possible.

1. Income (Yours And Your Spouse’s):

1. Think about finding and copying or scanning pay stubs, W-2s, 1099s, bonuses, rental income, dividends, side hustles, or anything else that brings money into the bank or into the home. This recorded income impacts everything from spousal support to how child support is calculated.

2. Expenses:

You’ll need to create a current monthly budget during the divorce and one for your post-divorce life. Track everything: housing, groceries, insurance, gas, subscriptions, and even your dog’s favorite treats. This helps determine what you truly need to maintain stability.

3. Assets:

These include bank accounts, retirement accounts, pensions, investment portfolios, real estate, vehicles, and valuable personal property. Don’t forget the digital items (cloud storage, online movie accounts, subscriptions, etc) and favorite keepsakes. They are important and need to be recorded when considering how to divide the items you have accumulated as a couple.

4. Debts And Liabilities:

List mortgages, car loans, credit cards, student loans, lines of credit, back taxes, and anything else owed. Depending on where you live, you may or may not be responsible for your debts as a couple, regardless of who caused the debt. Knowing what you owe (and whose name it’s in) is vital for dividing responsibility fairly.

5. Taxes:

Divorce can significantly impact your filing status, deductions, and liabilities. Bring in a tax expert if needed, especially if your situation involves self-employment, business ownership, or stock options.

6. Future Needs:

This one’s often overlooked. What do you need for your future? Will you go back to school? Retire at a certain age? Support your kids through college? Factor in the long-term view. It matters in negotiation and mediation and will also help you make critical decisions like keeping the home or choosing the more from the retirement plan.

Who Can Help?

You don’t have to do this alone. This is the time to build your team.

• Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA): A specialist who helps you understand the long-term impact of financial decisions.
• Tax Advisor: Helps you minimize tax exposure and plan for future liabilities.
• Real Estate or Mortgage Professional: Essential if you’re selling, refinancing, or buying a new home. Look for a Certified Divorce professional who has the expertise to help handle real estate issues through divorce.
• Divorce Coach (like me): Keeps you focused, calm, and on track throughout the process. I also assist in planning mediation strategies, reducing conflict, creating healthy communication strategies, and helping your children through the process.
• Therapist or counselor: Divorce is emotional. A mental health professional can help you process those feelings so you don’t make emotional decisions with financial consequences.

A Note on Friends and “Advice”

Let’s talk about well-meaning friends and family members for a moment.

Your best friend might have just gone through a divorce. Your coworker may have strong opinions about what you should do based on her divorce that happened a few years ago. However, every divorce is unique and has its own issues. The advice those people provide is likely irrelevant to your divorce and can create additional legal or financial issues. 

Here’s the thing to remember: unless they’re a qualified financial or legal expert, take their advice with a smile and thank them, but be sure to verify anything you choose to use in your divorce. Your financial decisions need to be based on your situation and not on someone else’s experience, however well-meaning they may be.

Divorce can be overwhelming, and financial issues are typically one of the more stressful issues you have to manage during the process. Take your time collecting and documenting financial information to help reduce stress and ensure you have what you need to share with your financial experts and legal professionals.  

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