Career Kuel Thought Leader: Gayle Petrillo
Do you have trouble saying “No?” Can you ask for help?
I have always struggled with this. As a woman in my family, like many of yours, growing up in the late 50’s I was taught that girls should be seen and not heard. This mantra has stayed with me most of my life.
The Connection:
In addition, as women, most of us know we have to do everything, and we do! We shop, cook, clean, work (in and out of the home) and serve as therapists for our family members and friends.
Recently, while recovering from back surgery, one of my clients continued to ‘nag’ at me to meet. She had insisted on meeting prior to my surgery, which, I did very reluctantly in order to appease. I insisted our meeting be 30 minutes. I wasn’t able to drive so hubby took me to the coffee shop, ran some errands and came back to pick me up.
“Oh my word. I was so speechless, I didn’t have the words to respond.”
My client was still talking, even as I walked toward my car. Crazy, right! I advised her a few days later that I would refer her to a colleague in order for her to move forward as quickly as she wanted and I made the introduction. She still has not made that connection.
Finally, after receiving numerous texts from her, I replied, “I’m taking it very slowly, body and mind, to focus on full recovery and won’t be working until after I see my surgeon for my post-op visit (2 weeks from then).” Her reply astonished me. It read, “I respect your recovery – it’s so important. You do not need to drive, I can come to you.” Oh my word. I was so speechless, I didn’t have the words to respond.
This is one client I’m likely to fire. Have you ever fired a client? I have and I can tell you it is not easy or fun, but I’ve learned of its necessity in very rare circumstances and I believe this is one of them.
Ask For Help:
Having just turned 70, there have been rare occasions when I’ve asked for help and always felt guilty after doing so. As I planned for my surgery and subsequent recovery, I asked for help. I knew I would be alone for several days one week out.
I asked friends (some I’ve known for years, others not for very long) to assist. Two gals actually spent a night with me. Others brought meals and still others came and sat with me for an hour or half-day, and longer. And still others, too far to physically support, sent flowers, Grub Hub vouchers, texts, and calls.
I’ve told each and every one how much their kindness has meant to me (us) and how grateful I am for their support. Again, these responses surprised me, but in a very different way. Across the board these gals, guys, and couples told me it was not only their pleasure, but they were grateful to be able to help and glad that I had asked.
Moral of this story: Say ‘no’ and ask for help. You and those you care about, and who care about you, will be grateful.
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About the Author:
Gayle Petrillo is President of First Impressions, Image Consulting. Gayle is an image consultant working with both businesses and individuals. Her services include: customer service training; team building skills; secret shopper services; gossip avoidance techniques; closet analysis; wardrobe transformations, personal shopping; employment coaching; and presentation skills.
