Ellen Warner’s new book delivers something we rarely get: an unfiltered look at men’s perspective on aging, straight from forty men themselves.
A Companion To The Second Half
We are very familiar with the male gaze, as uncomfortable as it can get. Seldom do we get to enjoy the female gaze or men’s intimate thoughts on aging. Photojournalist Ellen Warner provides both in her excellent and beautiful book, The Other Half: Forty Men Reveal Life After Fifty (Brandeis University Press, 2026).
Four years ago, I wrote a Washington Post review of Warner’s The Second Half: Forty Women Reveal Life After Fifty. This year’s companion book, The Other Half, is a welcome follow up to Warner’s book on women.
Inside The Other Half
Warner is adept at getting her subjects to open up about aging and masculinity, and even sex. She shares what she considers to be their most essential responses in this coffee-table worthy book.
Her interviews are with men from vastly different backgrounds. The interviews are accompanied by professional portraits of the subject men.
As in her prior book, Warner traveled the world interviewing men from vastly different walks of life—from a fishmonger to a prince to a professional boxer to a chess grandmaster, as well as a few famous people like famed film director James Ivory at age 95 and English actor, novelist and Downton Abbey creator Julian Fellowes at age 74. She asks simple questions about what life looks like after fifty. Many of their answers challenge stereotypes about masculinity, aging, and success.
Men’s Perspective On Aging, In Their Own Words
I have heard many women complain about the paucity of revelations about men’s emotional lives. Men of our generation were generally socially conditioned to be emotionally unavailable. As interviewee Bishop Michael Curry advises, “Be able to talk to other people about what’s going on inside of yourself. That’s not something that most of us guys do naturally.”
Themes of pursuing one’s dreams, realizing goals, and relentlessly going for what you want are repeated by several of Warner’s subjects. Gaining perspective is also emphasized. “My biggest setbacks looked big when they occurred…, but later I discovered that I had been lucky not to be successful in that opportunity, so I learned that what looks like a setback is not always a setback,” former bank chairman Maximilian Meran reflects.
“In the first half of life, I learned that life was not waiting for me,” shares former professional boxer Gerry Cooney. “I have to read the book. I have to ask the question. I have to find the person who is going to help me understand or change.” Many in the KuelLife space echo these sentiments.
A Conversation Starter With A Few Gaps
Warner’s book, a collection of diverse perspectives, is a highly relevant conversation-starter. It lends itself to discussions about how ideas about masculinity, work, family, and purpose evolve after fifty, the surprising benefits of growing older in a youth-obsessed culture, and unexpected commonalities in experience.
Warner, whose career as a photojournalist spans more than 50 years, took 15 years to complete the first book and four years to complete its companion. Warner’s inclusion of men and women from other cultures in these two books offers perspectives not often expressed in the Western world. I was slightly disappointed that her book on men contained more men from major cities like New York, London and Paris than did her book on women, and not as many men from remote areas. It is, however, fascinating and thought-provoking.
What Women Can Take From This
Warner’s work is valuable in its capturing of social history. “Beneath the surface differences, men and women have been tracing parallel paths—each generation grappling with what it means to life fully, love deeply, and face the inevitability of change,” Warner concludes.
Readers are treated to sage advice in The Other Half. We are privy to perspectives from men we may never have the opportunity to converse with, but whose observations ring true and may ultimately help us as women understand men a bit better.
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About the Author:
Maria Leonard Olsen is an attorney, author, radio show and podcast host in the Washington, D.C., area. For more information about her work, see www.MariaLeonardOlsen.com and follow her on social media at @fiftyafter50. Her latest book, 50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life, which has served as a vehicle for helping thousands of women reinvigorate their lives, is offered for sale on this website.
