Midlife Musings: Peggy Bell
I recently had another birthday. I don’t know about you, but as I age they seem to greet me faster and faster.
With Age, Comes The Undeniable:
I always wonder where the year went. Can anyone else relate? With age, comes the undeniable, and unwelcomed changes the body begins to endure. You begin to hear creaks and pops from within, sounding the age alarm like never before.
“have you ever found yourself looking for your cell phone all around the house while talking on it?”
Then there are the possible hot flashes. You may have the ceiling fan running at full speed, night and day, no matter the temperature outside or in, with the occasional “cover toss” at night when the fan isn’t quite cutting it. Let’s not forget our memory, (excuse the pun). It may not be as sharp as it once was.
For instance, have you ever found yourself looking for your cell phone all around the house while talking on it? When you realize it, you feel so silly and look around to see if anyone noticed. (Please tell me I’m not the only one.)
Finally, there are the eyes that age as you do. You might notice them begin to weaken. You can only move the words away from you as far as your arm will stretch. And you have to give in to the fact that you need new or stronger lenses for reading and/or distance.
“The vision I speak of is clarity; being able to see through people for who they are and what they are up to.”
And while these examples seem dim, bleak, and maybe even depressing to some, something quite nice happens as we age and mature. It too has to do with our vision, but of a different sort. It causes this type of vision to come more into focus and provide you with a much sharper image. The vision I speak of is clarity; being able to see through people for who they are and what they are up to.
As we get older and the clarity starts to take shape, we are able to spot when toxic people are among us. We know the type. Maybe it’s because we have experienced, on more than one occasion, being the recipient of the type of toxicity they spew. Our experience over the years has taught us to spot them easily.
Toxicity Around Us As We Age:
They are judgmental, will play mind games, and will keep you guessing as to what version of themselves will show up on any given day. Maybe you were in a toxic relationship before or were forced to work with someone who was. They may have only been in your life temporarily, but you never forgot them because of the way they made you feel.
Toxic people have a way of making you feel drained, annoyed, anxious, and manipulated.
As we age, we no longer feel the need to play the games we might have played when we were younger. We know better and realize life is too short and too precious to waste our time on such things. Toxicity from those people can take a toll on you both emotionally and physically and will not move you forward with the plans and goals you still desire for your life.
“surround yourself with people who emit positive energy and are supportive of your endeavors.”
People With Positive Energy:
Now is the time to surround yourself with people who emit positive energy and are supportive of your endeavors. If you are forced to be around a toxic person because they are a close relative or a co-worker, limit the amount of time you are around them to only what is necessary. Remove yourself from their company as much as you possibly can. You will be better off for it.
With age also comes the clarity and realization that you are truly your own best friend and you will always be your biggest cheerleader when it comes to pursuing your dreams and goals. Loved ones may be there for you initially, but when or if things ever start to falter, you might see them walk away or try to talk you out of what it is you really want to achieve.
Some people may stick with you but in the end, it’s you and only you who fully understands just how much something means to you and the clear vision of what you hope to gain from it in the end.
We Are Strong As We Age And Get Older:
“we have earned the gift of the new type of vision; the gift of clarity”
It’s true, getting older is not for sissies, but this time in life is so rewarding if we allow it to be that way. Yes, we may have the creaks and the pops, the hot flashes, the memory lapses, more birthdays, and maybe even the bifocals, but I say ‘bring it on,’ because it beats the alternative any day.
Besides, we can handle it because we are strong women. We have dealt with other trials and tribulations in our lifetime and survived all of them. And we’ve remained standing. We are survivors.
Because we have experienced life with all its up and downs, we have earned the gift of the new type of vision; the gift of clarity. That vision is 20/20. Use it wisely.
“Funny thing about getting older. Your eyesight starts getting weaker but your ability to see through people gets much better.”
About the Author:
Peggy Bell is a Midlife Coach for women who want to move forward past loss to find purpose and joy in this new season of life. She is also a public speaker, author, and course creator. She launched her business, Live Your Purpose, after retiring from a forty-year teaching career, just in time for her sixtieth birthday.
Peggy is the author of five books, with her sixth soon to be released. Her work has been published in such places as Thrive Global, Women’s World, and Open to Hope to name a few. Peggy invites you to join her Facebook community.