Life is a funny ride. You know, just when I thought I had mastered the art of serving myself first, the Universe had a little test in store for me.
This seemingly insignificant series of events, which I am about to impart to you, made me pause and reflect on the depths of sensibly selfish living.
“Like most of us, I was indoctrinated from early on to share, to look out for others”
Now, just to be clear, I am not the originator of the term “sensibly selfish.” Our very own Kuel Life Thought Leader Kay Newton shared this concept with me years ago. From the beginning, I was intrigued by the notion that anything selfish could be good.
Like most of us, I was indoctrinated from early on to share, to look out for others, to be liked. What is it now with the suggestion that I can and should put myself first?
With my nest now empty and my partner away on business, I was gearing up for some quality ‘me’ time earlier this week. The thrill of having the entire house to myself brings me much joy. I relish the freedom to do things my way – even if it means leaving an empty, dirty glass on the kitchen counter (don’t worry, I didn’t actually do that, but you catch my drift).
This past Monday, as I lounged around renewing my deep friendship with Netflix, I decided to seize the moment and Door Dash a pizza.
The Perfect Pizza:
“Who was this imaginary companion whose slices I was trying not to ruin?”
Now, let’s talk about my pizza preferences: pepperoni, onion, tomato, garlic. Classic and oh-so delicious. While I eagerly awaited my cheesy delight, I began crafting the image of the perfect slice in my mind – extra hot, generously loaded with terrific toppings and adorned with my secret “sprinkles” blend. But here’s the catch – as I envisioned my pepperoni paradise, it struck me that the pizza joint tends to skimp on the pepperoni. And to my dismay, I had no extra stash at home.
In that moment, a question niggled at me: Did this unfortunate lack of extra pepperoni at home mean I couldn’t enjoy my dream pizza, designed by me, for me? I supposed I could pluck pepperoni bits from other parts of the pie and place them lovingly on the slice I intended to eat that night — but what about the next pizza lover in line? Would they be left with an unsatisfying slice of pizza?
And then it hit me. Who was this imaginary companion whose slices I was trying not to ruin? Why not indulge myself? There wasn’t a soul at home to witness my culinary crime, let alone suffer from it. Yet, here I was, hesitating. The internal dialogue of selfishness versus selflessness unfurled before me, as I contemplated the idea of “robbing” a few pepperoni slices from the pizza destined solely for my consumption.
Putting Others First:
It’s fascinating how our ingrained notions of putting others first can infiltrate even the simplest of scenarios. As I mulled over my moral dilemma about diminishing the pizza experience for others, I realized that the journey to sensibly selfish living – that sacred space where we prioritize ourselves without guilt – is indeed a profound one.
You see, being sensibly selfish isn’t about undermining the happiness of others; it’s about nurturing our own happiness without causing harm. The pizza revelation highlighted that even when no one else would be affected, my concern for the collective well-being was front and center. It was a humbling reminder that embracing taking care of myself first is a process, one that involves untangling deep-rooted beliefs about self-worth, desire, and the fear of being perceived as selfish.
As I sat there, slice-less but reflective, I recognized the importance of celebrating the little steps. Just acknowledging that I had a desire and right to fulfill it was a leap forward. The journey towards sensibly selfish living involves granting ourselves permission – permission to prioritize our desires, to satisfy our cravings, and to pamper ourselves without judgment.
Claim What’s Yours For Your Slice Of Life:
“Remember, taking care of yourself first isn’t about forsaking the greater good”
Whether it’s claiming that extra slice of pizza, taking that solo adventure, or dedicating an afternoon to self-care, each step is an affirmation of our self-worth. It’s about realizing that nurturing ourselves doesn’t negate our care for others; instead, it empowers us to show up even better in our roles as partners, parents, and friends.
Remember, taking care of yourself first isn’t about forsaking the greater good; it’s about recognizing that by nurturing our own well-being, we become better equipped to uplift those around us. So, as I continue on this journey, I invite you to reflect on your own experiences, your own moments of pizza-like revelations. Let’s embrace our desires, one sensibly selfish step at a time.
And for those of you left wondering, was I able to pilfer the pizza to create my one masterpiece? You bet your sweet ass. There still may be a pepperoni-free slice roaming around the refrigerator as we speak.
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What an honor to see someone else’s perspective on being Sensibly Selfish. I love that slowly we are getting the message out. We are the only person we get to spend our whole lives with and we get to decide whether we have double pepperoni or not!