Midlife Matters: Diane Amelia Read
Interdependence in midlife isn’t weakness, it’s a powerful, necessary shift that helps strong women over 50 move from burnout to true resilience.
Independence. It was a virtue I was raised with in an either/or paradigm. There was no gray scale. You were either independent (good) or dependent (weak, a problem.)
Don’t get me wrong. Independence has served me well. As an only child with two working parents, I learned young how to get stuff done. On my own. By the time I was 12, I could work a kitchen mixer and a table saw.
It wasn’t until my early 40s when bilateral rotator cuff surgery drastically limited the use of both my arms, that I learned about the magical world between the two extremes: interdependence. Turns out, support is a beautiful thing.
Where Did We Learn To Go It Alone?
You’re the dependable one. The fixer. The one who gets it done. You’ve held families together, run businesses, led teams, lifted others. If someone described you as strong, you’d nod. And then probably laugh a little … because they have no idea what it’s taken you to hold it all together.
Here’s the rub: for so many women in midlife, strength has become synonymous with silence and sheer willpower. Let’s question that. What if the bravest, most magnetic version of you … the one with energy, clarity, and purpose … needs support to thrive?
My Nervous System Has The Mic:
Like me, many GenX and Boomer women grew up absorbing the myth that independence is the highest virtue. We were told to be self-sufficient, to earn our keep, to never rely on anyone. We were taught to tough it out, shake it off, be grateful … no matter how depleted we became.
And to some degree, it worked. We became incredibly capable.
But that capability often came at a cost. We pushed through when our bodies begged us to slow down. We gave endlessly without replenishing. We believed that asking for help made us needy. Or worse, a burden.
At midlife, that old conditioning starts to unravel. We simply can’t override our needs any longer. Our instincts are wiser. Our nervous systems louder. Our tolerance for unsupportive dynamics? Much lower. We’re being invited … okay, let’s be honest, forced … to rethink what strength really means.
Redefining Strength: The Midlife Edition:
Holding everything together perfectly has less and less appeal in this season. Now, strength looks more like holding yourself sacred enough to stop pretending you’re fine when you’re not. It’s pausing long enough to say, This isn’t working anymore. It’s letting go of hyper-independence and opening to interdependence … choosing connection, collaboration, and care instead of white-knuckling your way through.
This shift can feel like a slippery slope, but the results are so worth it.
Three Micro-Shifts To Strengthen Interdependence In Midlife And Build Real Resilience:
Telling a lifelong do-it-all woman to “get support” can feel like handing her a compass with no map. It’s vague, and potentially overwhelming. So here are three actionable, real-world shifts that strong women like you can make:
1. Build A Personal “Board Of Allies”:
Instead of waiting until you’re burned out to reach for help, be proactive. Create a written list of three to five people you trust in different domains of life … emotional, physical, practical, spiritual.
Maybe it’s your acupuncturist, your therapist, your sister, a friend who gets your ambition, or a coach who helps you stay grounded. You don’t need one person to do it all. That’s the beauty of a board. Name them. Thank them. Call on them before things hit crisis mode.
2. Ask For Connection, Not Just Solutions:
When you’re overwhelmed or uncertain, it’s tempting to ask someone to “fix it” … or (old messaging alert!) to not ask at all. But often, what you really need isn’t advice. It’s presence.
Instead of saying, “What should I do?” try:“Can I talk this through with you? I’m not asking for answers. I just need an ear.”
You’ll be amazed at how quickly your own wisdom surfaces when you feel supported and heard.
3. Let Your Body Call The Shots (Once A Day):
Your brilliant mind has run the show for decades. But your body holds deeper truths. What would shift if … once each day … you asked your body, not your calendar, what it needs?
Maybe it’s five deep breaths before a meeting. A walk around the block at sunset. Saying no to something that drains you. Try it for a week. You might just find that honoring your physical self unlocks energy, intuition, and clarity you didn’t know you had.
Self-Care and Connection In Midlife: Redefining What Strength Looks Like
In this chapter of life, strength looks different. It’s soft and fierce. Quiet and bold. It’s asking when you need to and receiving what helps you rise. You’re allowed to lean and it doesn’t make you weak. It makes you wise.
We’re redefining strength through self-care and connection in midlife, not just self-reliance. You’ve done so much for others. You have a long, beautiful track record of showing up strong. Now it’s time to let your self-care fuel your capacity … not just for surviving, but for thriving.
You’re a woman becoming herself, and you don’t have to do it alone.
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About the Author:
Diane Amelia Read is an experienced growth partner, health and mindset advisor, stereotype disrupter, and surfer wannabe. She’s a Reiki Master Teacher, podcaster, StreetWise MBA graduate, and samba singer, Law of Attraction mentor, and motivational speaker.
Her mission is to make the world a more loving and interconnected place by helping women love themselves first so they can bring their most joy-filled awesomeness to everyone and everything else without depleting themselves
As a Mind & Body Alchemist For Women Over 50, Diane Amelia’s unique personal transformation toolbox is chock full of options for midlife women ready for sustainable improvement in their health, confidence, mindset, income, community, or all of the above.
