Meet The Kuel Life Dating Coach – Illa Lynn

dating coach Ilia Lynn

Illa Lynn is a former corporate health care leader turned Life Coach who specializes in Relationship Coaching for women.

In addition to her ten years of academic and professional training, she specializes in dating after 40. Specifically dating after divorce, or toxic love.

KUELLIFE: What type of business do you own/run? 

Illa: I am a relationship life coach and dating strategist for women. I also do consulting for women looking to escape abusive relationships, or if they need guidance on recovering from toxic relationships by breaking the trauma bond.

“In my 20s I studied Psychology, aspiring to be a therapist, however, life kept throwing me many curveballs, which naturally derailed my path.”

Professional Path Of Illa:

KUELLIFE: What prompted you or drove you to become an entrepreneur? When?

Illa: Nearly two decades of working in corporate healthcare led me to pursue my MBA. Education was a pillar of my upbringing and the only way I was led to believe one can become successful. Looking back, it wasn’t truly all that necessary, but nevertheless, it gave me the courage to take a new step on my professional path.

Serving others through my experience and wisdom was my lifelong dream so I did it for years pro bono. In my 20s I studied Psychology, aspiring to be a therapist, however, life kept throwing me many curveballs, which naturally derailed my path. Four years ago, when I opened my business and followed my purpose, I came full circle to doing what I love most.

Dream Of Being A Business Owner:

KUELLIFE: What’s your biggest struggle?

Illa: My biggest struggle is juggling life and my dream of being a business owner. I found myself working all the time and barely slept. Between my new day job and my business, I found myself exhausted. Coffee was my best friend as I burned the midnight oil trying to figure it all out.

This journey is definitely not for the faint-hearted. It is said that we women can do it all, but let’s be real, that is not the case. Surely we can do it all, but at the expense of our mental and often physical health. Growing a business is a challenge and one that is worth the effort, however, we must not forget to take sufficient time to breathe and enjoy life.

I took a step back several times over the years, regrouped, rebranded and revived my mission and purpose. At times I felt like a failure but bounced back whenever someone shared with me how my work impacted their life.  

Fortunately, I have a partner who is my biggest supporter and together we are now able to balance the scales between kids, romance, health and business. 

“I invested my savings to get it off the ground.”

Overcome:

KUELLIFE: What is your biggest fear as an entrepreneur? How do you work through it? 

Illa: In the beginning, I was concerned about the financial aspect of starting my own business as a dating coach. I invested my savings to get it off the ground.

While lying in bed at night, I wondered: what if it doesn’t work out? Am I qualified to do this? Even though I had multiple degrees, and over a decade of consulting and coaching experience, I was experiencing impostor syndrome. It took persistence and support of my coach to overcome it and truly see value in what I was doing. Having an outside perspective can be transformative and enlightening.

New Definition Of Success:

KUELLIFE: How do you measure your success? 

“Making radical choices to prioritize what is important to you, while still doing what you love, is my new definition of success.”

Illa: Over the last few years, my definition of success has changed. Making radical choices to prioritize what is important to you, while still doing what you love, is my new definition of success. Having the right people around you who are loyal to your mission and are your support system is also important. Through collective efforts, we can accomplish much. A proverb I read in grad school says, “If you want to go fast, go alone.“. But if you want to go far, do it together.” 

Persistence Is The Key:

KUELLIFE: Finally, what advice would you give other women about taking an entrepreneurial path? 

Illa: First of all, congratulate yourself on following your passion and finding your purpose. Secondly, get clear on your WHY, write it down and keep it where you can read it every day. Through this mission of yours, find ways to serve others. The road ahead will be tough and not many people will support you, but do it anyway. Persistence is the key to success and turning your dreams into reality. 

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