Parent Coach for Moms of Teens: Fern Weis
Navigating how to handle family estrangement during the holidays can feel overwhelming, especially when the season brings emotions you thought you’d already worked through.
Managing the Holidays When Family Connections Are Broken
The holiday season has a unique way of bringing everything to the surface—love, loss, gratitude, regret, and all the emotions we usually keep tucked away. Even the lead-up to the holidays can stir up feelings you thought you had already worked through.
When you’re dealing with estrangement from an adult child, these emotions can feel even heavier. A time that’s often portrayed as warm and joyful can instead feel tender, complicated, or painful.
If this describes your experience, please hear this clearly: you’re not failing, and you’re not alone. Many parents facing family estrangement struggle with the contrast between what the holidays “should” be and what they actually are.
You may crave connection, yet simultaneously feel the need to protect yourself from further hurt. Both can be true at once.
If questions about your adult child make gatherings even harder, you might appreciate these 11 graceful ways to respond to questions about a struggling adult child.
Why the Holidays Intensify Estrangement Feelings
There is no single “right” way to handle the holidays when relationships are strained. What is right is giving yourself permission to honor your emotional well-being.
How To Handle Family Estrangement During the Holidays With Care
You can simplify your plans. You can lower the expectations you’ve carried for years. You can say no to gatherings that drain you and yes to quiet, comforting spaces that help you breathe. You can feel sadness and still create small moments of peace and meaning.
And those small choices matter more than you think.
Simple Rituals That Bring Peace When Family Feels Far Away
Light a candle as a symbol of the love and hope that still live within you, even if that love feels stuck or unseen.
Reach out to someone who understands estrangement—a friend who can sit with your truth without minimizing your feelings.
Offer kindness to someone else who may also be lonely or struggling this season. Helping others doesn’t erase the pain, but it can soften its edges.
What Healing Looks Like When Estrangement Doesn’t Change
None of these practices fix the complexity of estranged family relationships, but they can help you move through the holidays with a little more gentleness and self-compassion.
You’re Not Alone: A New Way to Move Through the Holidays
If this season feels hard, remember that you’re not alone. And you’re allowed to shape the holidays into something that fits who you are now, not who you feel pressured to be.
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About the Author:
Fern Weis is a Parent Empowerment Coach for Moms of Teens and a Family Recovery Coach. She’s also a wife, former middle school teacher, and the parent of two adult children who taught her more about herself than she ever could have imagined.
Fern partners with moms of teens and young adults, privately and in groups. She helps them grow their confidence to build strong relationships and emotionally healthier kids who become successful adults.
She knows first-hand that when parents do the work, the possibilities for change are limitless; that it’s never too late to start; and you don’t have to do it alone. Learn more about Fern at www.fernweis.com. Schedule your complimentary Parent Support Call at https://calendly.com/talktofern/discovery-call. Ready for support? Apply for a complimentary 30-minute Parent Discovery Call at https://calendly.com/talktofern/discovery-call.
